कविताये

मराठी मुलगी



मराठी मुलगा



प्रेमाला उपमा नाही



हाईट ऑफ़ फैशन

सरदार जोक्स

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!


Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghu Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao..!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai, Jithe Marzi So Jao!


Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai. Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!



Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya..?


Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!


Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.



Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke...
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!



Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.


Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.



Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Luv U, To Woh Boli 'Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'



A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya..!


Santa : When I get mad at you,you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!

लई भारी इश्टाइल टू प्रपोज

Alvida....

Scotsdale Katta presented the Album of beautiful, innocent, and cute pictures of little wonders to Jaya Vahini, who returned to India along with Kulkarni family.

Please click on the below link to view complete Album.

http://preview.picaboo.com/Webview/CoverPage.aspx?album=0000000000021C5BB2&user=0000000000021C3F55

सायोनारा..

Bayco

Purushottam Abhuj/Sachin W yanchyaa saujanyane

गृह शुद्धिकरण समारंभ !!!

Save Money, Save Oil...........

Here are some tricks to get more of your money's worth for every litre

Only buy or fill up your car or bike in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. Remember that all service stations have their storage tanks buried below ground. The colder the ground the more dense the fuel, when it gets warmer petrol expands, so buying in the afternoon or in the evening....your litre is not exactly a litre. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and the temperature of the petrol, diesel and jet fuel, ethanol and other petroleum products plays an important role. A 1-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for this business. But the service stations do not have temperature compensation at the pumps.

When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. If you look you will see that the trigger has three (3) stages: low, middle, and high. In slow mode you should be pumping on low speed, thereby minimizing the vapours that are created while you are pumping. All hoses at the pump have a vapour return. If you are pumping on the fast rate, some of the liquid that goes to your tank becomes vapour. Those vapours are being sucked up and back into the underground storage tank so you're getting less worth for your money.

One of the most important tips is to fill up when your tank is HALF FULL. The reason for this is, the more fuel you have in your tank the less air occupying its empty space. petrol evaporates faster than you can imagine. Petroleum storage tanks have an internal floating roof. This roof serves as zero clearance between the petrol and the atmosphere, so it minimizes the evaporation. Unlike service stations, every truck that we load is temperature compensated so that every litre is actually the exact amount.

Another reminder, if there is a fuel truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy, DO NOT fill up--most likely the petrol/diesel is being stirred up as the fuel is being delivered, and you might pick up some of the dirt that normally settles on the bottom.

Hope this will help you get the most value for your money.

कोण म्हणते .......

कैलास हरीष रणधीर आणि स्पेशली प्रदीप तुम्हा सर्वाँसाठी

अमित (कुठेतरी वाचलेली कविता)

Life kasa agadi fast zhalay....

मुलीचे कौतुक

Difficult Questions & intelligent Answers

These are very good questions with intelligent answers....!!!
DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS ! Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the Presence of mind and the right answer at right time. Even if u don't know the answer for a question just Confuse the questioner Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry They are IAS Officers now.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor? Without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how Long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 RankOpted for IFS)

Q If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand And four apples and three oranges in the other hand, What would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an Elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it Will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A: It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank)

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy Questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"
The boyThought for a while and said, "My choice is one really Difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own Choice! Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission Depends on the correctness of his answer, But he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" He was selected for IIM!

"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the master of presence of mind "DON'T THESE MAKE U SCRATCH UR HEAD>>>>><<<<<<

...full too dhamal, to fool you all...

Scotsdale Katta is showing all kind of talent now a days....dance, songs, mimicry...from many days only one thing was missing - drama. Many people were willing to show their talent, but got few chances...1st-April (starting from India's time and ending per EST) provided the perfect stage for all. It was full of plan, drama, emotions, comedy....and also US's hot topics - Health Issues and Insurance(car) were covered.

I am sure Shalaka's carrot cake was very special recipe, because it all started with that and provided enough energy and ideas to all to keep all of us busy for 48hours (may be more.....) the topics chosen were so basic that no wonder not a single Bakara was failure.

Bakara no 1: Amit had sold his beloved CRV two weeks back. He got a call from sister of new owner. She claimed that the vehicle is giving many issues and she needs $1500 from Amit to fix those issues. Amit called the original owner and got even more confused. Ed, Amit's colleague, helped out Amit to understand the consequences, if Amit fails to meet the lady, She could trap him legally..... why to take some one with him (to be safe..), why to carry camera (to take some of her snaps with a vehicle....).
'Amit' was perfect bakara...he never realized it till we showed him 'April Fool' banner. Mastermind plan was done by Scotsdale Katta Mandali.....

Our special thanks to Sanjay's friend who played a sister, Nitin Dada for helping us to hold Amit
for 30min till our remaining gang reach Subway.

Bakara no 2: Sandeep got a call from Secretory of State, saying they found some discrepancy in his marriage date and if it's not resolved, his wife would have to leave USA very soon.
Ameya played Bill Hoffman, a SOS guy and Prashant B. was a perfect helping neighbor.

Bakara no 3: Vijay was fooled by Prashant D, for back bitting. Vijay didn't realize even though Prashant D. was calling from Pradip's mobile.
Pradip and Ragu played pivotal roles in this bitter conversation.

Bakara no 4: Neeraj got $700 bill for Cleaning of his Ear and disposing harmful chemicals that removed from his ear......
Amit and Ameya again showed their creativity while preparing the duplicate bill. A timely phone call from Anjali made it close to real.

Bakara no 5: Bhaskar got a call from JCI Shuttle office. After refusing to answer the call twice, finally he answered a call from Bill, who charged him $500 for using JCI shuttle for personal reasons.
'Bill Brown' played for Sanjay was awesome, while Ameya and Shalaka played his colleagues.

So all decided to call it a day and summarized all these Bakaras at dinner, publicly declaring that it is all over....

But hold on....there was one update, Harish 's car was missing.... and hoping not to fail for this 'April fool' trap he only made it public after dinner but he was right in the middle of the trap.
Pradip's acting did the trick! Bakara no 6.

In addition to these, some got fooled while fooling above bakaras also. Kiran never realized plan about Amit even though he was with Amit during whole episode. Kailas rotated webcam display screen assuming it as lens. Pradip closed window glass instead of blinders when he was asked to shut it to restrict view. Sanjay got fooled by scotsdale maintenance guy for bathroom block notice put by Shalaka.....

We all enjoyed these fun filled dramas....-
- as a group we can fool anyone, whatever might be the smartness claimed ???
- target anyone on the week point and obvious things will be missed by the person being fooled...
- we have developed our self so nicely that anyone can play any role at any stage.......like Dhoni's cricket team, and last but not least
- when any scotsdalian face any problem the first thing he/she does is 'Call Sanjay'!

Do you think, 2008-April fool was over?

After making all these Bakaras public on 2nd-April, we all thought that April fool was definitely over now. All scotsdalekars were happy because bakaras took April fool episodes in good sprit and everything ended as per plan without any issues. But, suddenly Ameya got message from Bhaskar. Bhaskar told Ameya that he is not happy with whatever Ameya has done with him. Ameya passed on this message to Amit, Harish, and Kailas. Everybody started pinging Bhaskar. But, everytime Bhaskar was replying - "I am busy, we will talk in the evening".

Many scratched their heads thinking why Bhaskar was unhappy and what should be done to soothe him. By the evening, news spread to all and everybody gathered at Sanjay's place to have Garma Garma Samosa and probable hot conversation with Bhaskar. Bhaskar didn't reply to anybody's call and meeting ended even with more confusion. Some said 'chidala aasel tar Gela udat..karudet phone tyalach....' others said 'we should resolve this today itself by calling him..'
In between snacks and dinner, Ameya and Raghu had bitter conversations with Bhaskar........better left for imagination...................................

Finally, at dinner, again everybody gathered together (mainly because of Sanjay's initiative) and called Bhaskar. As usual Sanjay started conversation and others jumped in eventually. everybody had his turn, but Bhaskar was not ready to listen. When conversation reached at peak, Bhaskar asked Sanjay - " Sanjay, should we unveil now?" and after that everybody came to know that..................................it was a big April fool from Bhaskar to all Scotsadalekars except one......................Sanjay.......now, we understand what Sanjay was doing in Gym, why he was insisting us to call Bhaskar together......and many more...............................Very good plan by Bhaskar with help from Sanjay......................

All (Bakara no 7) got fooled by Bhaskar.......different people claimed different percentages of their foolness. Raghu - 60%, Ameya - 100%, and others are still doing their calculations..........Kailas had thought that Ameya, Amit, and Harish had made plan with Bhaskar to fool him. So 'thinking ahead of them'???? .............this is what Kailas said..............He made a counter plan to fool them and got double fooled........He is Bakara no 8 . Because he got fooled everytime while fooling others.............................In Amit's episode, rotated Handycam display screen assuming it as lens. In Sandeep's episode, Amurta Bhabhi assumed Kailas as the main culprit. In Vijay's episode, he too thought like Vijay. In Neeraj's episode, he got captured in undergarments, and In Bhaskar's episode, his own counter plan boomranged on him............................................

Definitely, scotsdalekars experienced life similar to the underworld for last three days. Nobody was sure whether plan was being made with him or against him and that's why got fooled most of the times.....................after things became unbearable, everybody finally agreed to ceasefire this memorable April Fool Event till next year !!!

नवीन लोगो .....

प्रिय कट्टा मंडळी,
आपणा सर्वाना नूतन वर्षाच्या हार्दिक शुभेच्छा आजच्या मुहुर्तावर आपल्या ब्लोग चा नवा logo आणि ब्रिद वाक्य वापरात आणले आहे, कृपया आपला असाच प्रतिसाद आणि प्रेम या कट्ट्यावर बरसुदे अशीच इश्वर चरणी प्रार्थना

आपले कृपाभिलाशी,
स्कॉट्सडेल कट्टा मंडळ

एप्रिल फूल ची कविता

नाच रे मोरा स्कॉट्सडले च्या अंगणात, नाच रे मोरा नाच

एप्रिल चा महिना रंगला रे, अमित बिचारा फसला रे,
आता तुज़ी पाली, नि शलाका देटेय टाळी
संजय चे ज़ाले हाल!

नाच रे मोरा स्कॉट्सडले च्या अंगणात, नाच रे मोरा नाच

लाइसेन्स चा बहाणा जाआला रे, सॅंडी चा राडा केला रे,
निर्या म्हणे सर्जू, पैसे कुठून फेकु,
कैल्या च्या डोक्याला ताप..

नाच रे मोरा स्कॉट्सडले च्या अंगणात, नाच रे मोरा नाच

हा दिवस तर भारी रंगला रे, आमरस पण चांगला बनला रे,
प्रदीप आमचा भारी , काढतो हरीश ची खोडी,
गाडी काहीं मिळेना बाप .....

नाच रे मोरा स्कॉट्सडले च्या अंगणात, नाच रे मोरा नाच

देओरे पण मग पेटला रे, विजय चा पारा चढला रे,
क्से बरेय त्याला, शांत मी करून, क्से बरेय त्याला, शांत मी करून,
सुचव भगवंता आज?

नाच रे मोरा स्कॉट्सडले च्या अंगणात, नाच रे मोरा नाच

शेवटी, भास्कर कसा बारा सुटला रे, त्याचा पण गेम वाजला रे,
सोनवन्यांचा किरण, म्हणे पळू हात धरून,
नकोय मला हा सारा ताप ....

कवी संजय अहिरे

Fools Day Quotes

"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. " ~American humorist Mark Twain

"April Fool jokes are in good fun and not meant to harm anyone. The clever April Fool joke is the one where everyone laughs, especially the person upon whom the joke is played."

Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It's good to be silly at the right moment. ~Horace

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.~Robert Frost,

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman

"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of "May Day!"?"

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~ Will Rogers

"A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

अप्रिल फूल बनाया..

आला एप्रिल चा महीना, काय त्याचा महिमा,
भले भले फसती ,आमच्या अमितची लई फजीती,
आला दुपारचा टेलीफोन, होती त्याची घाई कोण
गाड़ी म्हणे तुजी , वाजते ठन ठन ठन ठन
आता काय करावे , डोक्यात नुसते काहुर,
पोटात मात्र गूर गुर, अन् ओठात फुर फुर-फुरफुर
असाच विचार आला, कोण ही सट्वी,
हैऐए करू तिला नि करू तिला कटावी
अप्रिल फूल जाला, प्रिती म्हणे त्याला
होते सारे स्वप्न, झोपेत नुसता विघ्ना...